How It Rolls

I find it interesting that so many people say one of two things in regards to how many kids we have. They either say "you're crazy" (in some shape or form) or "I don't know how you do it." First of all, there are many days that I think... "I'm crazy." This especially occurs when the kids are fighting, not listening, or once again destroyed another full roll of toilet paper. Sometimes I even think and say "I can't do this." But in those moments, it really boils down to stress and what I have chosen to stress about. I've been learning over the years how to not stress out as much... and sometimes relearning what I've learned. With that, I share my story of how it rolls around here.

How It Rolls
"Are you serious?!" This is exactly what I yelled from across the living room when I spotted another perfectly good roll of toilet paper in shambles on the bathroom floor. Byron and Evelyn giggled as I started to stomp through the kitchen. Seriously... you think this is funny? I thought. I began to gather the wadded toilet paper in an effort to salvage whatever I could.  "You know what... this is expensive!!!" I wonder... is it really that expensive? Regardless of how much it cost, I was on a roll and had to continue my rampage. "I'm done.... From now on...you will use this toilet paper..." I said as I folded the toilet paper into the drawers of the tower.  The kids didn't seem to care about the punishment.... it was toilet paper after all and moved on to other things. For me though, it seemed like the right punishment.

I can't recall how many times I have had this conversation with Byron and Evelyn. Devlin at least is the police patrol, my sole deputy, reporting when once again the offenders have committed the toilet paper crime. Upon entering the scene, I find that it is either wadded up on the floor or in the toilet. "You better pray  that this will flush..." is what I'd say. And sometimes I will just uncover a completely unrolled roll strung all over.

A few weeks ago, after one offense committed by the B&E Duo, I just couldn't take it anymore. Frankly, I was tired of using wadded up toilet paper (why, I have no idea) and tired of salvaging piece by piece. So I decided the roll had to go... well sort of. No longer will you find toilet paper rolls nicely hung on the toilet paper holder.

This is how it now rolls at the Jarboe house. The toilet paper is now under the protection of the tower and some of my sanity (of what remains) has been restored. When guests come over, I simply say, "No, we're not out. Just open a drawer on the tower and you'll find what you need." Sometimes I laugh when I forget to tell them and they say absolutely nothing about the missing roll. I wonder why they don't say anything or ask.

Why not continue to discipline, so that our holder is in use and our bathroom looks more normal? (As if our family is normal? Yeah right). You see, if it is in the tower, they cannot see it and it is not in reach. While they are sitting on the toilet, either waiting for help (because I'm predisposed because of another kid) or just doing their 'guy thing' (why do guys sit on the toilet forever???), there isn't a roll on the holder to play with. And since I've done this... I have not had to stomp into the kitchen to save yet another roll. I'll take the empty holder over wadded toilet paper.... any day. Perhaps someday (wait...5 years given Kieran is four weeks old and will probably follow in his siblings' footsteps) it will be able to return.