John 12:46

Jesus said, "I came to the world to be a Light.

Anyone who puts his trust in Me will not be in darkness."

This quote is hard for many to believe; especially when someone suffers an illness. Can they believe that they will not be in darkness? When things are in a rut or just not going my way, I get angry. I admit, that for me this quote means a lot more than physical darkness, but darkness in one's faith. At first when I was told my fellowship to my Master's program was gone, I was upset. I was angry. However, one person believed in the Light (and that wasn't me). After a few days of darkness, I decided to do the same. And what happened? To my surprise (and not to the Other), there was Light. God stepped forward and my fellowship was saved.

When we were kicked off the cruise this week, I again, was upset. I was angry. Instead of learning the first time around to trust in the Light, I instead went off and was moody all day. Well, I should have stood still and listened. There was much Light in this change. We received a full refund for the cruise and we were able to alter our plans to stay in Texas for a week.

So the biggest question, will I ever learn to just trust in Him? Maybe. But I give no guarantees. I, like you, am human. Humans make mistakes. What really matters is that we learn from those mistakes and change how we react to our surroundings.

Then, I question, has Jennifer or Stellan escaped this darkness? You'd think their trust in Him would have brought a miracle to their lives. Instead, Stellan is once again in the hospital (even on the day of his first birthday). Yet as I think about it more, there is Light in all of this suffering. Jennifer and her family have grown in faith. Heck, around the world, people have grown in faith, family, and in community over Stellan's journey. Does it take a little boy to make us realize this or to grow? It may sound sick to you, but I think it's not God making Stellan suffer this or God choosing to let Stellan suffer this. I just think it took one little boy long ago to change the world. Perhaps Stellan is as just the same, changing the world. He's not in darkness. I think. He's surrounded by his mother, father, siblings, family, angels, and thousands of strangers. He's surrounded by prayer. His life has surrounded other babies in hardship with prayer. He's not in darkness.