Proverbs 21:3

"The LORD is more pleased when we do what is just and right than when we give Him sacrifices."

What is just and right? What is a sacrifice if it is a sacrifice to do what is just and right? These questions come in and out of my thoughts as I work diligently to be a good servant. Am I not sacrificing my social standing by doing what is just and right? It seems like Proverbs is really pointing to actual sacrifices, yet, I wonder if it speaks more to sacrifices in general. I wonder this because there are days (well pratcially all days) where I sacrifice my "image" so to speak, when I say certain things, particularly my beliefs in God, morals, life-in-general.

One questioned my support of Pro-Life organizations as if it was a crime. Yet, while I disagree with their beliefs, I don't plaster dead-baby pictures all over their home. I understand that they are pro-choice. Okay, I obviously can't change your position, but, at the same time, why not listen to why I believe in pro-life?

Or, my committments to my church. What does it matter if I like to attend services day in and day out...and actually participate? Is it that big of a surprise? One commented saying, how can you spend so much time there? I try not to be mean or rude in my response, but I keep thinking, what do these people think, church is just a Sunday thing? Church is people, not a building. Church is part of faith. Not Faith. Celebrating Faith in faith is a powerful action. It has a powerful meaning. If I were to go to church say, once or twice a year for the "holidays" I couldn't call myself a follower of Christ. If I were to practice my faith day in and day out and not go to church, I still could not call myself a follower of Christ. Fr. Mike Tedeger said, "Do not store your faith in a closet" on Easter. It's so true. Some just go home and go back to the norms after a church service and do not actually practice their faith at home.

I'm no saint. I've missed church, I've misled myself at home. But I'm sure darn trying to be a good servant. Did I keep my lenten-goals? Of course not. I tried though. But I also did things this past lent, that I typically do not do. That surprised me more. For example, finally participating in the Drive-Thru Difference. Staying late at work or working from home to help doctoral learners with their IRB application. Relaxing at home with my pet-peeves on dirty dishes, laundry, and the home in general.

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in these thoughts, and that is why I have PoP, St. Edward's, and other fellow active Christians to lean on when I have a bout of woes or high volume curiousity.

I hope that in the Lord's eyes, He sees my efforts and guides me in my failures.